Why “What Am I Doing Wrong?” Isn’t a Helpful Question (What To Think Instead)

ricki advised not to dwell on what you are doing wrong with candida

When things don’t work out as we wish, it’s natural to ask, “what am I doing wrong?”

For most of my life as a teen and through adulthood, that was the question that first occurred to me any time I didn’t see the results I was hoping for in my life.  If I wasn’t promoted at work, or if my friends were all dating great guys while I was sitting at home eating chocolate on Saturday nights, or if I couldn’t afford the dream home I wanted when everyone else I knew was already selling their first homes–I’d wonder what I missed that everyone else seemed to know.

I just assumed it was some inherent flaw in me. 

The same is true with candida.

When I first was told I had candida overgrowth, all I could think was, “why me?” and “what did I do wrong?” In a family of women who’d all spent their lives eating unhealthy, junk-food diets, I was the only one who ended up with candida overgrowth.

Later, when I was following the diet and found myself slipping off it, I again wondered what I had done to trigger the slip up, how I had somehow been responsible for my return to highly sugary foods and other processed, junk food that (of course) only made matters worse.

But this kind of self-blame doesn’t help in any way.

So, when you feel as if you’ve slipped off the diet and are tempted to ask “what did I do wrong,” I’d like you to consider these other perspectives instead.

Question: How do you deal with slip-ups? Have you ever wondered whether you are somehow responsible?  


  • Ricki’s dating history and how it related to her candida overgrowth
  • What changed the cycle of self-recrimination
  • Why wondering “what’s wrong” is an unhelpful focus, especially with candida
  • Why using others’ success as a gauge isn’t helpful
  • The major misconception about what we need to do to succeed on the diet
  • The first step to learn how to stick with it for the long term
  • The role of Western culture in our crisis of candida overgrowth


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