Birthday Cake and 2021: How to Get What You Want

Ricki talks about changing your perspective to get what you want

How is 2021 going for you so far? Is it living up to expectations? 

If you were hoping that January 1, 2021 was going act like a magical switch that would change our lives in an instant, you were not alone.

Judging by the posts on social media and all the people I spoke with at the end of 2020, most people had already put all the negative energy of that year behind them, believing that 2021 would somehow immediately bring with it only positive circumstances, events, political leaders, health, and everything else.

If you said, “2021 is the pits, Ricki! This year is no better than last. In fact, so far, it’s been totally disappointing and not exactly what I’d call a good time.”

On the other hand, I bet some of you said, “Well, 2020 was tough, but we got through it and found ways to be happy. It looks like 2021 is going to challenge us again–but of course we’ll get through it, too, and even find things to be happy about”?

Whatever answer you chose (or felt was more true for you), here’s the reason why: your perspective. 

Perspective is everything, isn’t it?

How many times have you seen a movie with someone else, and you loved it while they hated it? Or met a friend with a new haircut that she just adored, and you thought, “Can’t she see in the mirror?” Or maybe you were out with the hubs, tasted a new delicacy and gone, “ewww!” while he thought it was the best thing ever? 

It’s the same with 2020. In fact, it’s been the same with every year of your life so far.

And it will be the same with this year, too. 

Depending on how you choose to look at it, the year might suck–or it might be great. 

In this week’s new video, I talk about how differing perspectives affected someone’s desire to eat birthday cake on her birthday, even though she can’t consume sugar or white flour. She was sad to miss the experience of the cake itself, the frosting, the candles–all of it. 

In the video, I talk about how she can maintain that sense of celebration, even have her cake and eat it, too.

I also talk more about one way to approach these ostensibly discouraging situations and change your perspective so that you can find the positive in them. 

I think you’ll like it. (Then again, depending on how you look at it, you might think it sucks. . . it’s all perspective!).


  • What do you do when faced with the dilemma of celebrating a birthday at a restaurant with friends–but when you can’t eat sugar, gluten, eggs or dairy (and the restaurant doesn’t offer what you can eat)?
  • Some of the suggestions around what to do in that instance–and how I was surprised by someone else’s response
  • How someone was able to have the celebration and eat her cake, too
  • Ways that this dilemma is similar to what we are saying about 2021
  • The two distinct reactions to the new year
  • Something new to consider about the year–the concept of “yes, and.”
  • How to consider something that seems impossible without closing off new possibilities



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