Does your food do this for you?

Ricki talks about how to change your relationship with food

Now that I’m an (ahem) mature woman who has been with my spouse for almost two dozen years, I can honestly say that I don’t know a single female friend who doesn’t have at least one cringe-worthy relationship in her past. 

What’s usually worse, most of us have had the same cringe-worthy relationship. ..several times, with different partners.

In my 20s and 30s, I tended to date the same type repeatedly: my “ideal man” had to be super intelligent, funny, a brilliant artistic type (duh, of course) and a hopeless romantic who showered me with constant expressions of his affection (say, chocolate truffles , a sweet handwritten card, or–if he knew me really well–a Vitamix). 

What I ended up with, instead, was usually someone who appeared fabulous at the outset, but fairly quickly revealed his Inner Cad (or simply his lack of suitability for a long-term relationship).

There was the actor who sort of resembled a young Robert Redford, but was so bitter about his own lack of fame that he constantly cut me down with sarcasm and even mockery;

There was the rock singer-wannabe who was so self-absorbed that when we had dinner at his place, he often “forgot” to buy a second bottle of beer for me. Oh, and cheated on me repeatedly (I found out later); 

And then there was the writer who, while sweet and loyal, was so impoverished that he lived in a place that was, literally, condemned. 

Finally, around age 40, it hit me: what the heck am I doing?! 

These were not, in any way, positive relationships.

These men didn’t have my best interests at heart. 

Being with them in no way helped me to become my best self. 

I knew something had to change–so I decided to give a different kind of guy a chance. (In fact, I decided to give pretty much any other kind of guy a chance). 

I decided that I was no longer willing to accept someone who wasn’t actually good for me. 

When I met my now-hubby, I remember thinking, “What am I doing with this guy? He’s a science nerd! He wears plaid short-sleeved shirts! I bet he keeps pens in his pocket! He doesn’t even have a beard!!” 

Yet, he did possess some incredibly positive qualities. He was kind, honest, gentle, super smart, funny. And he was actually nice to me. 

When one of my best friends finally met him, she later pulled me aside to say, “I think he’s great. And you are more yourself with him than I’ve seen you with anyone else. He accepts you for exactly who you are.”

That sealed the deal, of course. 🙂 

So how does this relate to your diet? 

When it comes to your relationship with food, are you repeating the same kind of negative patterns that I did with the human relationships in my life? 

In order to eat in a way that’s best for your body–and stick with it–you need to decide that it’s okay to change what you consider to be “good food.” 

If the food doesn’t support your best health and help you to reach your most positive potential in life, is it really good for you? 

As I suggest in this week’s video, recorded on International Women’s Day, once you decide that it’s time for a change–and you commit to only eating those foods that are, ultimately, good for you–then it becomes so much easier to make that change. 

You deserve to have the best health, and best life, you possibly can. 

It all starts with the decision to change what you’re willing to accept, whether with the people or the food in your life.

What steps have you taken to ensure that the food you eat supports the best possible self you want to become? Share in the comments below.



  • NEW WORKSHOP IS COMING! Be the first to know when registration opens for the Stick with it This Summer workshop. Click here to sign up for the list!
  • How Ricki’s dating history relates to anyone’s relationship with food
  • How our ideas about our best partner can be mistaken
  • Ricki describes three of her dud boyfriends
  • What prompted the change in my relationship approach and how attraction followed from that
  • Ricki describes her early days with her now-husband
  • A crucial comment from one of my friends that “sealed the deal.”
  • How this concept transfers to what you eat, and how it can make your diet so much better
  • The benefits of eating a healthful diet, far beyond the mere physical improvements
  • The shift you must make to learn to love and appreciate the new, healthy, diet
  • The question to ask yourself that will tell you whether your diet is right for you



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