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Ricki Heller

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Notwithstanding (Why You Must Sound Like You in Your Writing)

by Ricki Heller Leave a Comment

I was there as a tourist, so to speak. My roommate was asked to lecture on her area of expertise (set design) to a university class, and I was there to provide feedback and emotional support. 

I was excited to hear her since I loved everything to do with drama and had always dreamed of becoming an actor.

(That dream was shattered once I actually got a bit part in a play and had to repeat the exact same lines four nights in a row. Phantom of the Opera cast, how did you not lose your sanity?!).

I sat in the front row (because that’s what keeners do), ready to take notes. 

My friend appeared, dressed in a knee-length pencil skirt and blouse buttoned up to her neck. She looked like Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. 

Except normally, she wore long, floor-length flowing skirts covered in bright flowers and embroidery, cowboy boots, chunky hand-knit sweaters, hair long and loose. 

The class fell silent. And then, she began. 

“Good afternoon, classmates. I’m here to discuss principles of set design, namely, the physical structures of a play. The actual structure of the theater itself notwithstanding, the set design encompasses. . . ”

I’d already lost the thread. 

Who was this person, stiffly spewing words I’d never before heard come out of her mouth? Notwithstanding?!

The rest of the lecture was a painful blur. The students fidgeted, they smirked, they stole sideways glances at each other. One even passed a note. 

In other words, a full-on disaster. 

“How’d it go?” she asked the moment the last student left the room. “Was it too technical? Do you think they enjoyed it?”

“The information was great,” I said. “But to me, it sounded just a little too. . . formal.” 

“But I was trying to sound like I knew my stuff!” she said. “And besides, aren’t you supposed to be formal when you’re the expert?”

That led to a conversation about our favorite professor, Dr. Ditsky, who was never formal. Yes, he was undoubtedly an expert. And yes, he always sounded as if he knew exactly what he was talking about. 

But formal? No, never. 

I see this odd personality switch happen all the time with clients who jump into writing their books. For some unknown reason, they believe their writing needs to be stiff and unnatural to sound professional.

But please keep this in mind: “Professional” does not equal “boring”! And it certainly does not equal stiff and stuffy. 

For your writing to resonate with your audience, it’s important to sound like you. 

One test is to ask yourself, “Would I say these words in normal conversation?”

If the answer is “no,” it’s more than likely you shouldn’t include them in your writing, either. 

Writing styles change all the time. What was “normal” for Henry David Thoreau in 1854 simply won’t do in 2022. Heck, even The New York Times in 1990 would likely be too “formal” today! 

Perfecting your voice is one of the things you can do with a book coach. Even if you’re not (yet) comfortable writing, a coach can help you to discover writing in a way that sounds like you. 

Because that’s who your audience wants to hear from, after all. 

Here’s to finding your true voice (preconceived notions notwithstanding)!

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She Wouldn’t Share

by Ricki Heller Leave a Comment

When I was 15, I had a great summer job as a mother’s helper (similar to what the French call an au pair, or basically a glorified babysitter-cum-housekeeper).

It was in a suburb of Boston with two well-behaved kids that I knew well. I also got to spend time with a group of kids I knew, one of whom was around my age. Plus, the job offered a private bedroom, amazing food and even the occasional restaurant meal included. 

You see, my employers were my second cousins, both in their 30s and, as I saw them then, two of the coolest people on the planet (actually, I continued to think of them that way right through to the present). 

On weekends, we’d visit the home of my cousin’s mother, Aunt Irene (I still don’t know if she was actually my aunt, or my great-aunt, or maybe my second aunt once removed?). 

Irene was a formidable matriarch, at the time already in her late 80s, still living alone and doing all the work to keep her house in order. She cleaned the place herself, kept all her kids fed and was one of the most amazing bakers I’ve ever encountered (and that’s saying a lot).

One of Irene’s many specialties was a confection called Fudge-Topped Brownies. Over a gooey, chewy brownie base sat a thick, rich slab of chocolate fudge. Cut into bars, this dessert was pure heaven.

Me with the old notebook

Of course, I asked if I could have the recipe, and Irene happily obliged. I wrote the entire thing down in my new orange spiral notebook, purchased specifically to store memories from my summer as a mother’s helper.

Once I returned home, I immediately set out to make the brownies. I had bought several boxes of My-T-Fine pudding mix, a key ingredient in the squares that you couldn’t get in Canada. Then I set to work.

I meticulously measured the ingredients, followed the recipe exactly. I spread the topping over the brownies and placed them in the fridge for the fudge to firm up.

And. . . it was a disaster! The fudge never set, and I was left with a thin, liquid pool of chocolate sauce over the brownies (tasty, but not the desired outcome). 

Years later, my cousin told me that “Irene always gives out the wrong recipe. She’ll leave out an ingredient or make sure the amounts are wrong.”

Say what? 

“It’s because she doesn’t want anyone else to be able to make it as well as she can,” my cousin said. “That way, she can remain the Queen of Baking in the family.” 

Holy moly–what a revelation! 

This past week, I spoke with a client who was feeling insecure about her style of writing. She worried that it wasn’t “entertaining enough,” that her audience wouldn’t be interested in what she had to say. 

She had been reading one of her business gurus online, and felt that her own writing fell short.

But the thing is, when you try to copy someone else’s style, you inevitably lose out. 

You see, Aunt Irene actually did me a favor. Because if that recipe had worked out like hers, I likely would have continued to make it for years to come. And my baking would have been a copy of hers. 

Instead, I started playing with the recipe and, ultimately, I made it my own. I came up with a version of the brownies that were unique to me–and, I dare say, even better than the original. 

The same is true with your writing. 

When you let go of the desire to emulate someone else’s style or tone and instead focus on what makes you unique, you’ll not only find your authentic voice–you’ll also undoubtedly find your ideal audience. 

Just know that it takes some time and some practice. And you might have a few flops along the way–the equivalent of watery fudge dripping on a pan of brownies. 

But keep at it–keep experimenting and playing with your words–and you’ll find that ideal recipe that is your own unique voice in your writing. 

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It Didn’t Even Sound Like Her

by Ricki Heller Leave a Comment

It certainly wasn’t the way I would have done it.  I took an online course with a well-known author, who shared his writing process and how he had written three bestselling novels.  Someone asked about how he revised: did he rewrite directly on the page, or use the first file as a template to then […]

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No Noise

by Ricki Heller Leave a Comment

I checked my phone for the third time. No new emails. No texts. Not even any new posts on Instagram? That’s when I knew something was seriously wrong. Turns out, our internet provider (one of the biggest in Canada) was completely down—in fact, down all over the country. At first, it didn’t seem all that […]

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I Don’t Regret It

by Ricki Heller Leave a Comment

There we were, at the art opening of a friend of a friend: abstract oil and acrylic on canvas, plus some random photographs, at a bona fide art gallery in downtown Toronto. (Please don’t ask me the name of the gallery. . . I was in university at the time, way too young to pay […]

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When You “Don’t Know What to Write.”

by Ricki Heller Leave a Comment

One of the best holidays I ever had was a side trip to Washington, DC, in my early 30s, while doing research for my PhD.  I spent my days at the University of Maryland in College Park, less than an hour from Washington. After hunkering down for eight hours a day in the bowels of […]

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You Absolutely Can Do This

by Ricki Heller 2 Comments

I remember the first time I was asked to speak at a conference. My immediate thought was, “But I’m a writer, not a speaker! Who will want to listen to me? I’ve got nothing worthwhile to say. . .” Far too many of us fall into this trap of “I’m not good enough” when we […]

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Hi! I'm Ricki, cookbook author, professional recipe developer, holistic nutritionist and anti-candida crusader. Let me show you how easy it is to eat plant-based, sugar-free, gluten free food that tastes great!

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