Is it my second adolescence? Another midlife crisis? A sure sign I’ve finally gone bonkers? You decide! And please leave a comment with your best ploy for how to get me on the show where I’ll serve up VEGAN, SUGAR FREE homebaked goodies for Ellen and the gang**–I’m open to anything! (well, before the senility sets in, anyway).
[Elsie’s definitely on board! (or is that a little board on Elsie?)]
One night when I was sixteen, I watched Marvin Hamlisch (composer of A Chorus Line, etc.) on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. The previous guest was Adrienne Barbeau, the buxom actress who played Bea Arthur’s daughter on the sitcom Maude. I was appalled as I witnessed Hamlisch, seated on the couch beside her, stammer and fidget (eyes flitting repeatedly toward her massive chest) while more or less grovelling for a date on air. Despite his musical genius, despite his fame and fortune and an upcoming gig at the Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, it was painfully apparent that Hamlish reverted to a tongue-tied nerd when faced with a beautiful woman who, clearly, barely registered his existence.
As soon as I got up off the sofa and turned off the television (no remotes in those days), I went to my typewriter and typed a letter to Marvin. It said:
Dear Marvin Hamlisch,
Someone with your reputation shouldn’t have to lower himself to ask Adrienne Barbeau for a date. Obviously, she doesn’t appreciate your genius. If you ever come to Montreal, I would go on a date with you any time.
(Miss) Ricki Heller
I addressed it to “Marvin Hamlisch, c/o Caesar’s Palace, Las Vegas, USA” and popped it in the mail.
The following week, I received a handwritten letter on Marvin’s personal stationery. It said:
If I ever get to Montreal, you’re on.
Sometimes I think back on that letter and ask myself, “Wow, did I ever really have such audacity? Where did that starry-eyed insouciance go? And why didn’t Marvin ever call me for that date?”
Then I remember: oh, yeah. I was sixteen.
Well, dear readers, I’ve decided it’s time to dredge up my inner 16 year-old once again. And you can help!
Even at my advanced age, I’m still a pop culture groupie. I’ve been a fan of Ellen’s for as long as I can remember (almost as long as it’s been since I heard from Marvin). I love her even more now that she’s vegan and sugar-free–and I want to be on The Ellen Degeneres Show so I can bring her some amazing baked goods from my cookbook, Sweet Freedom!
And what’s more, I’ve vowed to give a FREE COPY of Sweet Freedom, the ebook (identical to the paper copy) to every single person who participates in this campaign! (And isn’t giving away free things very Ellen-like of me?) 😉
Am I a little bit crazy? You betcha!
[Here, Mum, you’re going to need this for when you’re on the show.]
As someone who’s followed a whole foods diet for over decade, I know first hand how much a healthy diet can affect your well-being (just look at the impact of the ACD on me over this past year!). Based on the cookbook’s reviews and all your fabulous feedback (thank you! thank you! My blog readers are the best!), I’m confident others will agree that treats from the book are both healthy AND delicious. What better venue to spread the word than The Ellen Show, especially since the show’s star herself has adopted–and now promotes–this same way of eating?
[Elsie’s so into this, she’s even asked me to change her name!]
Besides, I’d be a perfect guest for the show! We have so much in common, Ellen and I: She loves dogs; I love dogs. She eats a vegan diet; I eat a vegan diet. She’s sworn off sugar; I’ve sworn off sugar. She loves American Idol; I love American Idol. She’s gay; I’m—
She loves dogs; I love dogs!
And you can help! On April 2, 2010, I tweeted for an entire day nonstop, with every single tweet that day directed to @TheEllenShow–with NO laptop, NO cell phone, NO pre-scheduled tweets–just me sitting at my desktop computer, typing away (with the occasional bathroom break)! The major blitz is over, but I’d like to keep the campaign going!
Ellen’s website says, “Ellen has never felt that any goal was too far out of reach. When she began campaigning to get on the cover of “O” Magazine, she vowed to never give up! Her persistence finally paid off. . . ” So, how inspiring is that??
Together we can make this happen! On April 15, 2010, my book was featured on the Ellen Show’s “Books Ellen Reads” page!! YES–the word is getting out, and Ellen is listening!! I couldn’t be more thrilled. But I still want to bring freshly baked goods to Ellen and her audience!
If you like my recipes and want to see me serve delicious, vegan and sugar free treats on The Ellen Show, you can help out by tweeting Ellen at @TheEllenShow, sending an email in support by clicking here, posting on Ellen’s Facebook page, posting a link to this page on your blog, or in emails to friends and family so they can play along, too! DDD reader Marie also pointed out this page on Ellen’s forums that asks you to recommend people for the show, so if you’re a member of the Ellen community, you can support the quest there, too.
You can also Stumble this post if you’re seeing this page on StumbleUpon, put it on Facebook, tell your local librarian, get a tattoo, or do anything else you can think of!
Don’t forget to hop back here to leave a comment telling me what you did (so I can send you a free copy of the book when I get onto the show)!
[“I can help Mum, too! What? What do you mean, it’s not as funny as Elsie Ellen’s sign?”]
If I get invited on the show, every single commenter who participates in this blitz will win a FREE copy of Sweet Freedom, the ebook , which is identical to the paper copy!
And even if I don’t get asked to appear on the show, I’ll still choose 10 names at random on Sunday–three people will win hard copies of the book, and seven will win ebook. It’s my way of saying “thank you” for all your support! [Update: To see the list of the first 10 winners, check this post. And when I get asked on the show, everyone else gets one, too!]
I think it’s a win-win-win. If Ellen invites me to her show, she’ll have the opportunity to try some amazing, healthy baked goods. I’ll get to fulfill the dream of a starry-eyed teenager (and, more recently, a starry-eyed menopausal blogger). And you will get a FREE copy of my cookbook–everybody wins!
[But where’s Mum?]
With your help, we can do this thing! Let’s show the world what “grassroots marketing” really means! Let’s prove to those aloof, impersonal corporations that even the little guy (okay, technically I’m not quite “little” yet–but 45 pounds is nothing to sneeze at) can drum up support for an independent project without a huge any marketing budget! Let’s help Ellen discover some truly delicious sweets to eat on her sugar cleanse–and share them with the world!
“Mum, that’s a great idea! And we know The Ellen Show would be lucky to have you. But, um, we are your usual kitchen helpers, you know. . . so does that mean we get to be on TV, too?”
**Phase I achieved success on April 15, 2010! Just look who’s reading Sweet Freedom now! Whoo hoo!
UPDATE, APRIL 2021: I haven’t given up hope of getting on the show, but at this point, it looks like the catalyst will have to be something other than my first book! ANY IDEAS–???